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How I Would Have Ended It This post was inspired by the fan tas tic videos over at www.howitshouldhaveended.com Ital i cized text is the orig i nal pub li cized text from the book and is entirely the work of Becca Fitzpatrick.This ren di tion is entirely satire It is not meant to offend and I mean no dis cour tesy I rec og nize that authors put a lot of time and work into their nov els and I am not try ing to dis re spect that Writ ing a novel is hard work and is some thing I have never done and I cer tainly don t think I could do a bet ter job I am sim ply, with light hearted inten tion, using humour and imag i na tion to spark book dis cus sion and fun and point out some issues I had with the novel.And lastly, please don t sue me I have no money And I have chil dren to feed And I have a cat to feed as well You wouldn t want a cat to go with out food, would you Also, pretty please with a cherry on top I ll be your friend I was backed up against the counter, my palms dig ging into the edge You re mad because I didn t go to Del phic I raised one shaky shoul der Why Del phic, Patch It s Sun day night Del phic will be clos ing soon Any spe cial rea son you wanted me to drive to a dark, soon to be deserted amuse ment park He walked toward me until he was stand ing close enough that I could see his black eyes beneath his ball cap Dabria told me you have to sac ri fice me to get a human body, I said.Patch was quiet a moment And you think I d go through with it I swal lowed Then it s true Our eyes locked It has to be an inten tional sac ri fice Sim ply killing you won t do it Are you the only per son who can do this to me No, but I m prob a bly the only per son who knows the end result, and the only per son who would attempt it It s the rea son I came to school I had to get close to you I needed you It s the rea son I walked into your life I looked at him for a moment, his intense gaze shoot ing through me as I con sid ered the infor ma tion he d just confirmed. Okay, I said, straight en ing up and slip ping out from his over bear ing pres ence to put some space between us Okay Okay, I m out of here You can t go Patch said, his face twist ing into a con fused expression Well, you ve pretty much admit ted that you were going to kill me, in a very per sonal way, might I add I think that jus ti fies a quick and hasty exit, I spat at him, straight en ing my out fit in indig na tion and stand ing up to him withcon fi dence than I felt.Patch splut tered for a moment, blink ing his eyes dis be liev ingly But I wasn t I mean he looked lost for a moment before vis i bly col lect ing him self and slip ping back into his usual, con fi dent demeanorYou want me to come clean, I will I ll tell you every thing Who I am and what I ve done Every last detail I ll dig it all up, but you have to ask You have to want it You can see who I was, or you can see who I am now I m not good, he said, pierc ing me with eyes that absorbed all light but reflected none, but I was worse I arched an eye brow and stared at him in dis be lief Well, I have a dif fer ent plan, Patch Mainly revolv ing around the fact that you pur posely entered my life in order to stalk, harass and mur der me for your nefar i ous schemes So I think this would be a pretty good time for you to quit the mys te ri ous bull shit and be extremely trans par ent about every thing I need to know I mean, you haven t even assured me, at this point, that you re not actu ally going to kill me And I don t mean to harp on this point but that s a pretty impor tant facet of this dis cus sion for me He stalked close to me again, affect ing a brood ing, intense expres sion and caus ing my heart to thud painfully in my chest His boots were flush with the toes of my ten nis shoes I m not going to kill you, Nora I don t kill peo ple who are impor tant to me And you top the list I exerted con sid er able effort to con tain an eye roll, but it slipped through at the last minuteYou re imping ing on my pri vate space, I said, inch ing back ward in dis taste Patch gave a barely there smile Imping ing This isn t the SAT, Nora I pressed my finger tips to his chest He glanced at the spot where we touched and then back up to my eyes If my vocab u lary is caus ing you dis tress, I whis pered huskily, look ing up to him with a wicked smile on my face, then let me express my dis plea sure in the only way you seem to understand Patch s brow creased in con fu sion a moment before my heel came down hard on his instep He hopped back in pain, look ing at me with both hurt and bewil der ment Per sonal bound aries, Patch Respect them when I ask you to See, I have this rule about let ting would be mur der ers within ten feet of my very stab able body Now, tell me Is Dabria going to be com ing after me Patch, mirac u lously less inter ested in encroach ing on my per sonal space, shrugged from where he wasYou could take her, Angel, he said I ve seen both of you in action,he looked down at his injured foot and winked,and my bet s on you You don t need me for thatI don t think I need you for much of any thing, I sneered, turn ing on him and head ing to the doorDoor s locked, he said from behind meAnd we have unfin ished businessLis ten, the only unfin ished busi ness we have is between my knee and your crotch if you come near me again The cell phone in my pocket rang to life. In fact, I said as I pulled it out, you re going to go away and I don t ever, EVER want to see your broody, mopey face again You have for ever cured me of bad boys When this is over, it s strictly account ing nerds and bank ing types for me This was absolutely the WORST way to pun ish my mother for her absence, assert my inde pen dence and act out my grief from los ing my father I should have just stolen money from my mother s purse and bought alco hol like a NORMAL teenager I pressed the accept but ton on my cell WhatBabe Vee said We had a bad con nec tion, the crack led of sta tic cut ting across her voice Where are you Where are you Are you still with Elliot and Jules I flat tened a hand against my free ear to hear better I m at school We broke in, she said in a voice that was naughty to per fec tion We want to play hide and seek but don t have enough peo ple for two teams So do you know of a fourth per son who could come play with us An inco her ent voice mum bled in the background Elliot wants me to tell you that if you don t come be his part ner hang on what Vee said into the background.Elliot s voice came on Nora Come play with us Oth er wise, there s a tree in the com mon area with Vee s name on it I groaned in dis be lief and promised myself that if I sur vived this, I d choose friends who weren t com plete and utter dumbassesWho was that Patch asked.I sighed heav ily That was my brain less, drop kick friend phon ing me to pass along the mes sage that Elliot and Jules are going to mur der her vio lently unless I go meet up with them What was that you were say ing about never again see ing my broody, mop ing face Patch asked, his con fi dence returned tri fold and an enor mous grin spread across his face.I resisted the urge to smash my face into the tiled wall repeat edly Oh, shut up and come on I ll prob a bly end up nobly sac ri fic ing myself and sav ing your ass any way, so cut the shit, Patch He unlocked and opened the door, let ting me out ahead of him Still going to set tle for an accoun tant or banker You had bet ter be so damn awe some in bed or I am going to stab you through the eye with your own lit er al ized ego I have ninety nine prob lems, Nora, but per for mance in the sack is NOT one of them The end.
[[ READ PDF ]] ⇨ Hush, Hush ☞ A SACRED OATHA FALLEN ANGELA FORBIDDEN LOVERomance Was Not Part Of Nora Grey S Plan She S Never Been Particularly Attracted To The Boys At Her School, No Matter How Hard Her Best Friend, Vee, Pushes Them At Her Not Until Patch Comes Along With His Easy Smile And Eyes That Seem To See Inside Her, Patch Draws Nora To Him Against Her Better JudgmentBut After A Series Of Terrifying Encounters, Nora S Not Sure Whom To Trust Patch Seems To Be Everywhere She Is And Seems To Know About Her Than Her Closest Friends She Can T Decide Whether She Should Fall Into His Arms Or Run And Hide And When She Tries To Seek Some Answers, She Finds Herself Near A Truth That Is Way Unsettling Than Anything Patch Makes Her FeelFor She Is Right In The Middle Of An Ancient Battle Between The Immortal And Those That Have Fallen And, When It Comes To Choosing Sides, The Wrong Choice Will Cost Nora Her Life About three things I was absolutely positive First, that Hush, Hush was, without a doubt, one of the worst Twilight rip offs I ve ever had the misfortune to read.Second, there was a part of me and I didn t realize how dominant that part actually was that insisted on reading Hush, Hush to the bitter end in the hope it would redeem itself.And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably wrong in that decision. I read this ON A DARE a double dog one, if you must know And now I want to look it in the eye and ask REALLY, BOOK REALLYBecause it doesn t just cross the line into the uncomfortably creepy territory it takes a cosmic leap over it Hush, Hush may have the dubious distinction of being the worst book I ve ever readI assumed it s a book since that s what you d call a bunch of printed and bound pages, but I m really applying the term book loosely here. Yes, I know I m not the intended audience, but should terribly written books that can only aspire to reach the same literary heights as the word of the day toilet paper even HAVE a target audience Yes, I m being harsh But I m also being honest Let me give you a sample of my complaints all of them would be longer than the allowed review space.This book reads as though someone read Twilight, appreciated the obviously marketable and profitable premise, and decided to rewrite it in an edgier way which boiled down to clumsily asking a question,What did Twilight lackand coming up with the answer, Sexual creepiness bordering on sexual harrassment That s it LLLLLLadies Meet Nora Grey, an average high schooler who meets a mysterious boy Patch in biology By the way, my future hypothetical daughter will not be allowed to take high school biology since that s where all potential supernatural creeps appear to lurk, looking for gullible teenage girl prey The boy acts like a total jerk to her, and his sleazy innuendos are alarming and appalling but not charming or witty or sexy The natural things to do would be a tell him off, b tell the school officials, and c call the police if the d bag does not stop harrassing you Instead, Nora Grey decides to madly fall in love with the jerk Dear teenage girls He hates me therefore it means he loves me approach does not work in real life While we re at it PEOPLE WANTING TO KILL YOU IS NOT SEXY EITHER Dear YA authors, please stop perpetuating this idiocy Patch is a fallen angel no spoilers, it was stated on page one or so with a dark past But basically he is an entitled arrogant jerk who appears to take immense pleasure in publicly humiliating Nora, physically forcing himself on her, physically intimidating her, ignoring her wishes, and gloating in his dripping douchebaggery approach while nearly sexually assaulting her in front of the classI make you uneasyhe asks The proper answer would be to scream, YES NOW BACK AWAY But for some inexplicable reason Nora is in love with the creep For some inexplicable reason, his appalling behavior is presented as alluring and seductive For some inexplicable reason, he is presented as a dark and dangerous man of every girl s dream WHYYYYYYYYYYY Oh nevermind, here s the answerYes, actually, he had that effect on me He also had the tendency to wipe all logical thought from my mind My brain couldn t process one logical thoughtThis may explain why we get pages and pages of this incoherent lovestruck bumbling masquerading as a book Mystery solved, my job here is done While I m on the soapbox, let me say this STALKING IS NOT SEXY STALKING IS NOT OKAY STALKING IS NOT LOVE VIOLATING PRIVACY IS NOT LOVE EITHER and should result in a restraining order You see, our wonderful Nora thinks it s perfectly okay to learn about the mysterious new boy by breaking into the students records office to look at the confidential file she does it by calling in a bomb threat which is a awful, b promptly forgotten about and never followed up on , and spying at him at work, snooping for information from his coworkers I hate the message this book is sending I hate punctuation abuse It s innocent, so stop torturing it Please leave the faux dramatic pause ellipses in your fanfiction please Unless you re paid for each ellipsis used End the ellipses abuseWhat is up with the sloppy writing that assumes describing small insignificant and frankly boring details adds anything to the story Why am I subjected to the endless details of what exactly the characters are ordering in a Mexican restaurant, what the specials are, and how long it takes a waitress to bring the order Why should I care Why do I need to know the details of the bra design that the girls are shopping for How exactly does that enrich the story Please stop the filler It s awful Hey, what with not having the slightest trust in the readers ability to figure things out What s with the dropping of anvil sized hints every few pages What happened to simple foreshadowing Patch s identity, the villain s identity, Nora s identity we can figure it out without the author SCREAMING hints into our faces Really Trust me But in the end, despite the awfulness, I cannot be upset at Nora mainly because I m really worried about that girl s health Here s why My heart fumbled a beat My heartbeat turned erratic, and I told myself to pull it together My heart did an unexpected flip, startled by his bizarrely attractive smileNora, you know what you need instead of a creepy boyfriend A cardiology consult Your heart sounds unhealthy to me Terrible book with lackluster annoying characters, ridiculous plot, and bad writing, but with overabundance of creepiness 1 star because that s the lowest rating I can give Reading it was a miserable experience 4.0 rating on Goodreads Really Sometimes I really wonder whether I m reading the same book as everyone else. UHHUM WHY IS IT THAT ALL I SEE ARE NEGATIVE REVIEWS OF THIS BOOK REALLY REALLY ARE WE EVEN READING THE SAME HUSH HUSH I fell in love with Patch INSTANTLY I mean what s not to love I also love Nora She is such a refreshing and intriguing heroine Her and Patch suit each other perfectly They bounce off each other and really made me laugh with their witty and sarcy sense of humour They bicker like hell and it s so much fun to read I loved the twist in the end, it turned everything I thought was going to happen into something entirely different I never knew what was going to happen next I thoroughly enjoyed and loved this book and I certainly cannot wait to read the next Well deserved 5 stars, well fricking deserved Let s see My review What I learned from this book Well, I learned that it was a lot of fun to write Enjoy the fall, all Top Ten Irrational Points in hush, hush Nora s sex ed class begins with the teacher stating, Human reproduction requires mature handling And like all science, the best approach is to learn by sleuthing For the rest of the class, practice this technique by finding out as much as you can about your new seating assignment partner Tomorrow, bring your write up of your discoveries, and believe me, I m going to check for authenticity I want to see real interaction and teamwork This is a biology class Teaching kids how to get to know one another reflects the teaching of the science of human reproduction howThe next day, class focuses on what qualities each student looks for in a potential mate and the nuances of body language when hitting on someone Again, this is Bio Not health, not well I don t know what cause I never took a class this ridiculous But I took a lot of sciences, and this ain t it Later on in the book, the Bio class is running a lab on blood pressure Uh that has nothing to do with high school biology And even less to do with human reproduction WTF Further, in the blood pressure lab, Vee is lying faceup on a table Argh Those lab tables are filthy Chemicals, dissections kids are not allowed to sit on them, much less lay on them And, really unless you are checking orthostatic BP, there is really no need to lie down for five minutes before hand All I can say is that Becca Fitzpatrick must have been homeschooled Later, Nora approaches her Bio teacher about switching her seat away from Patch because he makes her feel uncomfortable The teacher not only ignores her plea, but enlists her to tutor Patch This all takes place right after Patch is seriously sexually harassing Nora in class, in front of the teacher and seemingly with the teacher s encouragement More support for the homeschooled theory Nora is driving home one night, and approaches a traffic light The light turns yellow and Nora, rolled to a stop, checked to see that traffic was clear, then pulled into the intersection What the hell Who stops at a yellow light to see if traffic is clear Why wouldn t it be when the other side still has a red light I m guessing that Fitzpatrick has never owned a driver s license Ever A rollercoaster called The Archangel Do people at a park really give a crap about biblical lore Further, the car Nora Patch ride in has a grouping of four paintings depicting an angels fall from grace Don t all rollercoasters have large flashy graphics that can be seen from a distance look cool when speeding around the track Since when do they sport fairly intricate and thoughtful artwork A local paper reported that Elliot Saunders, a 16yr old kid, was the last person to be seen with a girl before her body was found, and therefore was held questioned for her murder So, in addition to being a non driving, homeschooled, amusement park avoider Fitzpatrick is clearly unaware of laws protecting minors in this country The article continues to state that Elliot was released after a suicide note was found in the victim s apartment There are no further news stories regarding this matter Nevertheless, Nora persists in believing that there is a murder investigation surrounding Elliot And this girl has hopes of getting into an Ivy league school Nora has the police at her house for a 911 call, and again to question her about an attack on a fellow student Nora s mother is never informed of the police visits, despite the fact that Nora is a minor I shouldn t be surprised, because it has already been established that Fitzpatrick has no understanding of laws pertaining to minors Nora sees Patch s bare back and notices that, Two thick gashes ran the length of it They started near his kidneys, and ended at his shoulder blades, widening to form an upside down V Is it just me If an upside down V extends from the kidneys to the shoulder blades, it will NARROW not widenRight Fitzpatrick could have written that the gashes started at his shoulder blades, and extended to his kidneys as they widened to form an upside down V But the way it s written It doesn t make sense Further, the kidneys are pretty much right below the shoulder blades, not further out from them Yeah, I m nitpicking The final irrational aspect of hush, hush is Nora herself.She is na ve, spineless, and a horrible and chronic liar When she doesn t want to do something, she will make up lame excuse after lame excuse even when she gets called out for her excuses, she never has the balls to simply say, I am not interested in having dinner date whatever with you She just continues to make up excuses never comes clean or sticks up for herself When Patch is attempting to corner kiss her, Nora tells him to go When he doesn t, she says, My legs are falling asleep What Who says that Lord, if you want him to go and he doesn t then TELL HIM AGAIN BUT DON T MAKE UP SOME LAME ASS EXCUSE No wonder people walk all over Nora and take advantage of her Nora is so frightened of Patch, that there is even a scene where he is playing cat and mouse with her chasing her around a parked car, until she breaks out in a run, only to be caught by him in a matter of seconds But despite her fear, she never tells him NO I don t take issue with Patch Really He is thousands of years old presumably , isn t human, and for some reason has developed a crush on a very immature teen So I actually expect him to mess with her a little bit But dumbass Nora actually allows him to manipulate her Not that she deserves it although, really she does but Nora does nothing to defend herself against Patch, Elliot, Vee anyone She loses control of every conversation and interaction she participates in And still manages to come out the heroine Whatever Had Nora grown or changed as a result of her experiences, I could have forgiven her Or if Nora had suffered some severe consequences as a result of her stupidity, I could have forgiven Fitzpatrick As it is I m considering destroying this library book and facing the repurcussions of a library black mark or god forbid ban all in the name of saving young, impressionable teen girls from thinking Nora is the sort of protagonist to look up to Even Bella Swan isadmirable And that s saying something Keep in mind that people change, but the past doesn t 4 HUSHY STARSYou can find the full review andabout this book on my blog Okay so before reading this, I heard a lot of mixed feelings about this series Some loved it, some liked it and some hated it Now before I start my review I want to say that even that I heard a lot of things I was not spoiled or didn t even know anything about the plot or story so it was a fresh new start for me. You smell good, too, said PatchIt s called a shower I was staring straight ahead When he didn t answer, I turned sideways Soap Shampoo Hot water Naked I know the drill I have read this book in 2 days I can t say I didn t like it Yeah I know it has some mistakes or nonsense things but it was good It was similar to Twilight, and if you know me you would know that I truly hate that series, but it was a good similar, a better one For me at least Also the book cover is one of the best covers ever It s so creative and the colors are perfectly collided. Say provoking again Your mouth looks provocative when you do This book reminded me old horror movies, and I am a huge fan of old scary movies I can t say that it was unique The story was quite predicted, like I could tell what will happen but for me it was a fun read and I seriously think that this book would have been better if it didn t have angels at all. You re a guardian angel now I was still too much in awe to wrap my mind around it, but at the same time I felt amazement, curiosityhappiness I m your guardian angel, he said I get my very own guardian angel What, exactly, is your job description Guard your body His smile tipped higher I take my job seriously, which means I m going to need to get acquainted with the subject matter on a personal level I can t saythe plot was rich It was random, but good random and I did like the background of scenes, like BO Arcade is such a cool place and I had a pretty awesome picture of it in my mind Also the school scene at the end was hilarious, like the gym and classes And the farmhouse was quite creepy, it reminded me the ring movie and I don t know why, maybe the fog, but it was cool and well thought. All this time I ve hated myself for it I thought I d given it up for nothing But if I hadn t fallen, I wouldn t have met youThe beginning was good, also the middle but the ending was great My favorite scene was the light out school scene It reminded me a scene from Teen Wolf the TV series It was greatly described and that was the only moment I didn t know what was going to happen, even though it ended fast. Cheshvan starts tonight, Rixon said, What are you doing arsing around in a graveyard Thinking Thinking A process by which I use my brain to make a rational decisionThe writing style is not bad but it is not great either I was simple like a lot of novels out there The characters are also good but not the ones you remember for long And I found some of them really annoying. The story follows a girl called Nora who lives a normal life with her mom and her bestfriend Vee One day the Couch decides to change their seats for a project and she gets to sit with Patch, a boy who rarely talked At the first words they exchanged she felt something new inside her She couldn t stand him because of his arrogance but also couldn t deny the feelings Also things started to happen, new things, new people, new troubles in her life She felt the need to learn ,about Patch, but was she ready to knowBefore I forget, here s your homework Where do you want me to put it She pointed at the trash can Right there would be fineThe charactersNora Am I the only one who thinks Nora is not that smart I actually think she is kind of un wise, I mean who goes in the middle of the night to ask a boy she rarely know some personal questions for a school project Also the scene with the old lady, I cant think worst ways she could have acted in that situationPatch I don t know what to say about Patch, he is just like every other main male character out there. Vee I found Vee really annoying She was also stupid, maybe stupider And maybe that s why they are friendsThe problem with human attraction is not knowing if it will be returnedI recommend this book if you are into creepy paranormal romance It doesn t have role model or give a positive message but it is a fun read, especially for this time of year I enjoyed it Pictures from the review are not mine, I took them mostly from Google images or Tumblr This book is simply appalling I won t lie, my expectations going in about this book were pretty low But even so, Hush, Hush managed to disappoint me.First, there are many similarities with Twilight you have a regular average girl here, absent parents, a love affair with a dangerous supernatural boyfriend, a final showdown with a villain of his own kind The mythology, while somewhat unusual I haven t read anything about fallen angels in YA so far , is paper thin The characters are shallow and undeveloped BTW, Vee is the dumbest character I ve read about maybe ever But this is not even what makes this book a barely tolerable read This book is just plain silly, and silly not in a cute and funny way, butin it s pretty dumb and dangerous to fall for this crap way Many things are just so contrived about the story, I got a headache rolling my eyes while reading it For instance a bomb threat to steal an empty personal file that nobody investigates later a biology class which is centered on discussing one uncomfortable and almost harassed student s sexual attractiveness why would a mother whose husband was murdered leave her 16 year old daughter alone in a remote house for weeks at a time why would parents of another teenage girl let her go out NEXT DAY after she had surgery following a violent attack on her dressing up like a hooker to get some dirt on a guy you are investigating why would an angel fall for loving a human and then get his wings back while loving another human And finally, why exactly Patch and Nora are in love They know nothing about each other Even , Nora spends most of the book calling Patch creepy, being scared of him, being roughly pinned by him to various walls in dark places or being at his knife s point, and yet she is full of desire for him It just makes no sense As for Patch, I don t know one thing about him or why he loves Nora My list can go on and onBut surely enough, teenage girls will eat this story up You have everything for success here a fabulous cover and font, and pages and pages of flirtatious banter filled with sexual innuendos very often bordering on sexual harassment fit for 30 year olds and not 10 graders.I am rarely for any kind of censorship of books, but reading nonsense like Hush, Hush makes me wonder what are these writers thinking In my opinion, YA writers should be held to a higher standard than your usual writers of adults fiction Why would they want to promote such outright disturbing relationships as normal to impressionable and silly teenage girls In my book, the relationship between Patch and Nora is not simply shallow, but dangerous I wish some of the authors exercised better judgment writing their books, otherwise they are setting up many many girls for a lot of disappointment, because whatever is presented in this book as romantic is disturbing at best in real life Well, to sum this tirade up, Hush, Hush is pretty much a book that gives YA literature a bad name Naturally, the sequel is in works, but surely enough, I won t be reading it I d rather dedicate my time to something better written and less contrived and misguided.Reading challenge 1 F Read this Don t argue just do it If you don t like me, I ll force myself on you until you do We see this all the time and it s even romanticized Everything from romance novels to sitcoms we see women who aren t interested in a man and we see those men determined to catch her To pursue her, to convince her that she ll like me eventually If I try hard enough, if I harass her long enough she s sure to cave in eventually She can t say no And if she does I ll just assume it s code for try harder Before you read the rest of this review you should really go and read this post and this post on rape culture Please read them, especially if you don t like the word feminist, especially if you think Patch is hot or romantic , and especially if you re thinking about trolling this review Learn what s really acceptable before you bash someone for saying Patch isn t It seemed so often that the only reason Nora was saying no to Patch was so that she could later relent, thereby confirming the fact that when women say no they really mean yes, especially to hot guys they re attracted to and frightened of at the same time.Oh, Ms Fitzpatrick, you re a crafty one But 30 pages of non shittiness at the end of a 400 page book can t redeem all the shittiness from the earlier pages.So, here s what happens in this book.Nora Some creepy transfer student is sexually harassing me.Patch LOL, you know you want me.Nora Fuck off, creep.Elliot Hi Nora, I m the complete opposite of Patch, and I m your only alternative.Nora I better go out with you so I don t think about Patch.Patch Come leave your perfectly normal date and ride on a rollercoaster with me even though you hate me.Nora Okay.New school counsellor Stay away from PatchNora Okay But he s following me anyway so I better confront him.Patch You re so sexy I want to bone you threatens rape Nora Even though you just threatened to rape me, I m going to accept a ride home with you because I m pathetic and I can t call my mum or a cab or catch a bus.Patch Wielding a knife makes me sexy and I m going to almost kiss you.Nora Fuck off You terrify me.Patch Loosen up, babe You love it By the way, I was planning on killing you sexual assault Nora You re right, I do love it facenoms I have to credit Fitzpatrick for her red herrings I wasn t sure who to trust or who the antagonist really was until it was revealed So kudos to her for that And the other thing I have to say is that Fitzpatrick actually seems to have a grasp of the English language It s not her writing technique that I hate, it s the characters and their attitudes and the messages hidden in this book that disgust me Fitzpatrick s clearly written her own teenage fantasy here to be sexually assaulted by a hot guy who s so hot the sexual assault is forgiven because the girl really wants it but just pretends she doesn t to preserve her feminine modesty Although I must remind everyone this book would have had at least five different editors to help her get the basics of grammar and punctuation correct Also she s not afraid of writing fight scenes, unlike several other YA PNR authors who build up and build up and threaten with a war and then fizzle out with nothing.I was beyond prepared for this book I still believe that it should not have been published because it glorifies rape culture, the women are complete bitches and the blokes are complete twats I read this book with my trusty Post It notes beside me and marked the page every time I found something, offensive, stupid, or downright shitty Um if I write something about all of these tags, this review will probably take forever SIGH Okay, I ll do it. view spoiler Coach continued, Since the dawn of time, women have been attracted to mates with strong survival skills like intelligence and physical prowess because men with these qualities arelikely to bring home dinner at the end of the day What about lesbians Seriously Do lesbians even exist in this world This is so fucking sexist it makes me want to vomit This is around the time Nora s being openly sexually harassed in the classroom, which pisses me off I won t go into how stupid it is that a sports coach is teaching biology, because there are plenty of other reviews that delve into that yes, some sports teachers do have degrees in biology blah blah blah but it s not very common and this Coach doesn t know anything about reproduction he thinks it means the students have to find a mate RIGHT NOW This entire class revolves around how women want strong men to protect them and bring home the bacon and men want attractive women because ugly women don t get laid Which is pretty funny, because the two biggest slags in my city are both ugly as fuck yet between them have slept with nearly every male I know I also have to mention that if Patch wasn t a hottie patottie, there is no way anyone would support all that sexual harassment to Nora Coach laughs it off because Nora s being a hysterical woman a man showing unwanted sexual attraction is a compliment, and nothing to get all worked up about besides, the point of the class was to teach those strapping young lads when a girl is aroused Stop having a woman s period and suck up the fact that a guy wants to bone you In fact, maybe you should spendtime with him and his unwelcome sexual advances In fact, Nora should tutor Patch Which, actually, is only mentioned oncein the entire novel I was pretty offended by this whole thing As little as I knew about Patch , I sensed his aversion to Vee as if it were concrete enough to touch Patch has never met Vee How can Nora know how he would feel about her best friend Fitzpatrick is very desperately trying to show us here that Nora is the only thing Patch is interested in, eventhan her sexy non virginal best friend.I took a moment to think over his offer I was pretty sure that if I turned Elliot down, Vee would kill me Besides, going out with Elliot seemed like a good way to escape my uncomfortable attraction to Patch So you want to go out with Elliot not because you like him or he s nice or you want to get to know him better, but because your best friend will kill you if you say no and you think it ll help you get over Patch What a bitch Every woman needs to reinvent her sexy side I like that My daughter got implants She said she did it for herself, but what woman gets boobs for herself They are a burden She got the boobs for a man Please excuse me while I let my inner feminist rant and rage about how sexist and demeaning that is Boys like girls who look like girls Fuck you, Vee, and your anti feminist agenda Girls do not need to dress up to impress boys Some boys like other boys Some boys like girls with a bit of meat on them Some boys like petite dark girls while others like Scandinavian s What right have YOU to say what girls should look like My whole young adult life I was taught that the right boys will like you for you, not what you look like What were you taught That spreading your legs is the only way to get a guy s attention I dug in my heels You want to help Stay away from me He brushed a curl off my face Love the hair Love when it s out of control It s like seeing a side of you that needs to come outoften Every time Nora tells him to fuck off, he comes back with a compliment on her physical appearance that s loaded with innuendo This reinforces the rape culture of the book Nora s saying no, but she s being reasonably polite and Patch is ignoring her rejections You sound worked up Really worked up No, that s not it You sound agitated flustered aroused I could feel her eyes widen He kissed you, didn t he What the fuck, Vee First of all, it s none of your business Second of all, kisses do not always lead to arousal Third, it s none of your fucking business Fourth, how the fuck do you tell if someone is aroused over the phone Fifth, it is none of your fucking business And sixth how do you know when your best friend is aroused when she s never been around anyone she s found attractive before Did you two watch porn together one time Do you discuss what makes you horny and how your voices sound when that happens Or are you secretly in love with Nora Every other time I d felt that way, it was because Patch was near.The voice of reason quickly extinguished Patch s involvement If every other time you d felt that way, Patch was involved, how can you logically rule out his involvement How does this literally work How does your brain work, Nora When I d punched myself in the face it hurt But the voice of reason told me my face didn t hurt because I d punched it MALARKY Cause and effect Causation and correlation Fucking dumbass How the hell are you fit for an Ivy league school You re an attractive girl I imagine there must be some interest from the opposite sex This counts as sexual harassment from yet another adult How is this appropriate Yes, I do know who Miss Greene turns out to be but still, if my councillor asked me this question I d put in a formal fucking complaint.Not one part of me felt comfortable with the idea of Vee spending time alone with Jules because he was close friends with Elliot Oh Nora, you are so fucking lucky people don t judge you because of who you hang around with you shallow fucking bitch In fact, I was pretty sure Australia had no diamonds Period BAHAHAHAHAHA And you think you deserve an Ivy league scholarship Deep inside, I didn t believe Patch was the guy behind the ski mask Maybe he had dark, disturbing secrets, but running around in a ski mask wasn t one of them How the fuck do you know You don t know him at all Or maybe it s just because he s so hot that he couldn t possibly attack you except the he does Over and over and over again Nora, you really are fucking stupid We need to ask you both a few questions, he continued He pointed for me to take a seat on my bed, but I shook my head numbly Have you recently broken up with a boyfriend Fuck Why are all the adults so interested in Nora s romantic sex life This is not normal She s sixteen Adults prefer to pretend sixteen year olds don t have sex at all I m sorry, but Elliot A murderer He s, like, the nicest guy I ve ever met And you, Vee Sky, are the most selfish, ignorant, stupid bitchiest dumbass characters I ve ever read in the history of YA.I was feeling a lotrelaxed Patch was warm and solid, and he smelled fantastic Like mint and rich, dark earth Nobody had jumped out at us on the ride home For the first time all day I felt safe.Except that Patch had cornered me in a dark tunnel and was possibly stalking me Maybe not so safe This is an actual quote It s like Nora schizophrenic or something Patch is SO hot, except he might be stalking me and I m not safe and he s SO dangerous, but that just makes him even hotter I have never in my whole life ever known a girl to find a guy she s afraid of attractive When I was in high school, I only offered rides to girls I was interested in Let s carry that a step further What s your relationship with your bio partner outside the classroom Yet another example of all the adults inappropriate interest in Nora s sexuality, sexual history, romantic life and sex life.I could not accept that Patch would hurt Marcie Marcie wasn t the nicest person, and she d acquiredthan a handful of enemies A few of those enemies might be capable of brutality, but Patch wasn t one of them Senseless beating wasn t his style WHAT It s EXACTLY his style He s a creepy stalker who sexually harasses and assaults you and you LIKE it, you crazy bitch and then you get all up on your high horse because you think he s too good to beat someone up YOU DON T EVEN KNOW HIM Sorry, I already have plans Let me change your mind Yet another one of the very numerous examples where a male assumes Nora s very definite no means take me, I m yours He dragged me out the front door and shoved me against the house But he was drunk, right Ladies and gentlefolk Vee Sky Official worst best friend ever Defending a guy she doesn t even know against assaulting her best friend because he s drunk Oh, well that s okay then Maybe if Elliot happened to be driving drunk and killed a toddler and its mother because he ran onto the pavement Vee would forgive him as well, because he has issues and was drunk He leaned close and spoke in confidential tones We get a lot of folks who don t want their extracurricular activities traced, if you know what I mean Yet ANOTHER example of an inappropriate comment made by an adult to a minor What planet is Fitzpatrick from My head spun faster, and I could feel my pulse beating in my temples I d felt this heart pounding panic before I needed my iron pills All this malarky with the iron pills Nora has anaemia She has to take iron pills or she s in danger of, like, fainting or something Prescription iron pills This is complete bullshit I have anaemia I buy my iron tablets off the shelf If I forget to take them, I get a bit lethargic, tired, lose energy and concentration, and as a personal side effect my lips get very dry, broken and unkissable which is why I always use lip balm There is only danger of fainting from low iron if it s chronically low, and Nora doesn t show any other symptoms like shortness of breath, lethargy, chest pain, palpitations, fatigue, or cold skin It s not even essential that I take my iron tablets, and I certainly don t feel the lowness of iron in my blood the way experienced diabetics can feel low blood sugar Anaemia is not going to kill me if I forget to take a couple of tablets it s simply inconvenient Fitzpatrick has given Nora an inconvenient illness in the hopes that it makes her weak in her time of greatest need And it fails And now, just because I m being especially picky iron tablets are best taken with vitamin C which helps to absorb it, not whenever I feel like the iron count in my blood is low Which, by the way, we totally can t tell In the kitchen I saw my bottle of iron pills on the counter, and I immediately went for them, popping the cap and swallowing two with a glass of chocolate milk I stood in place a moment, letting the iron work into my system, feeling my breathing deepen and slow What the fuck Just what the actual fuck You can t feel the iron working its way into your blood Just NO That s NOT how it works You don t feel any different at all This is complete bullshit.Jules was dead Elliot was almost dead Who had killed them Who was left I tried to make sense of what was happening, but all reason had left me Nora, you never had any reason Let s think about this Jules is dead Elliot is almost dead Only Patch and Vee are still wandering the school Logically it s gotta be one of them Unless it was secretly you Why can t you just admit that you think Patch is capable of this violence Look, I know Jules is screwing with you, but really You can t even consider for one moment that maybe Patch, the psycho stalking sexual harasser and assaulter is responsible for such violence Cos the moment you outright accuse him and then find out he s not would be AWESOME.All the knots in my body seemed to come undone My eyes moved out of focus Jules s face was like an Impressionist painting blurred around the edges, lacking detail Blood drained from my head, and I felt myself start to slip off the chair I d felt this way enough times before to know I needed iron Soon That has never happened to me, and I have gone weeks without taking any iron supplements You know what This book makes me want to punch myself in the face Nora should be diabetic, not anaemic One of my best mates is diabetic and when she was learning to read her own body she d do stuff like that on the way to a coma from low blood sugar We made her drink this special glucose syrupy thing and she was fine, BTW We re not horrible friends who just let our best mate go into a coma before our eyes Iron does not magically fix the body when you think you re going to faint I m still in there, a prisoner inside my own body, living every moment of it, he said in a grinding tone Do you know what that feels like Do you he shouted What the heck is up with this dialogue tag Tacked on to the end like a bad apology Although Fitzpatrick had generally a fine technique, I m inclined to believe that came about solely because of the multitude of edits this book would have gone through And they missed this clumsy piece of writing I absolutely hate it when authors write, Blah blah blah, he said Blah blah he shouted It just doesn t work For the love of god, I d prefer a bloody interrobang to an extra dialogue tag This may be one of the only times I have an issue with Fitzpatrick s technique, but it still bothers me hide spoiler